Moving Through The “Spin Cycle”

Rinse. Repeat.  Rinse. Repeat. Do you ever feel like this is your life? 

My husband and I use a phrase around our home, “Dishes and Laundry.”  No matter how many loads we wash and dry, there are always more dishes to clean and laundry to wash.  It describes our frustration with the minutia of life; the boredom; the tedium; the “blahs.”  No matter how hard we work, there will always be more to do. 

Have you ever found yourself feeling flat, blah, on the verge of self-pity? And then you ask yourself “Why am I feeling this way?” You begin searching for a reason… you consider, say, dishes and laundry.  Yes!  Dishes and laundry.  THAT’s the problem. Then the obsession begins.  I’m the only one that does the dishes.  What would happen if I fell off the face of the earth?  Would anyone ever do a dish in this house?  And laundry.. oh, the piles of nasty, dirty clothes!  And another thing, and another thing,…

THIS is a case of mental obsession.

If we take away the dishes and laundry will that take away the boredom, tedium, and minutia?  Will fulfillment and contentment rush in?  Not likely.  More likely, we will find some other part of our life unsatisfactory to us.  Knowing me, I will shift from dishes and laundry to vacuuming, weed pulling… something ELSE to express my unsatisfaction.

Because that’s really what’s happening.

 I’m unsatisfied with my life. I’m bored, scared, lazy.

Dishes and laundry are, if you will, the hostage to my mental state.  What have dishes and laundry ever done to me?  I’m blessed to live in a home with running water, appliances that clean clothing and dishes, and to have food and family that require their use.  There is a great opportunity for gratitude!  But I have chosen to let them represent my boring, mundane, “never gonna get ahead” life. So what’s the answer?  

Acceptance.

Acceptance is acknowledging what is happening in any moment as the way it is.  AND acknowledging what it is NOT. Acceptance isn’t approval, support of or for something or someone.  It isn’t permission. It’s simply an acknowledgment of what is and what isn’t.  Just right now.

Here is a little exercise I learned from a friend of mine twenty-five years ago.  It goes like this:

1. STOP what you’re doing whatever it is.. unless of course you’re driving 70 miles an hour down a freeway. In that case, pull over safely first. Put down your smart device.. okay, after you read the instructions. 
2. Take three deep breaths.  I know, sometimes breathing is just an annoyance.. like THAT’s going to fix anything.  But do it anyway.  Breath draws your attention into your body, which we typically are not occupying if we are obsessing about something “out there.”
3. Get present to your body. Feel your feet on the floor, your backside in a chair, your head on a pillow… observe the connection your body is making to the surface you are touching.  We are always touching something, even air. 
4. Feel your heart beat.  Watch you chest and belly move with your breath.  Feel the temperature of the air against your skin.  This is life.  This is real. 
5. Be still and present.  Notice there is no danger in this moment.
6. Acknowledge that THIS is “right now.”
7. Observe the thoughts you had earlier that were disturbing you.  See them for what they are… thoughts.
8. Choose a higher thought.  A higher thought is a more positive thought.  For example, if I am rumbling about doing “dishes and laundry”.. I may change it to say, “I like my dishwasher.”

When you find yourself in the spin cycle of your mind try this on and let me know how it works!