How to Actually Achieve your New Year’s Resolution

Ready to live your passion? Get out a pen and paper (no laptop for this one) and consider the fresh approach below. Answer these questions AND be thoughtful about it. Your chances of success increase when you plan well. Let’s do this!

Start Where You Are 

  • What do you value in life? Like, really. Not what you think you’re supposed to value. Blow past old ideas that don’t support who and what you are.
  • What gives you energy? Name the things you LOVE doing… so much so that when you do them, you lose track of time.
  • What depletes you of energy? What do you avoid doing like a plague? Those activities that leave you wanting to stick a fork in your eye. BTW – There is energy depletion and just laziness.  Know the difference.

Truth – My energy is drained when I’m around negative people. Oh, and accounting. Making my bed and doing laundry? I avoid to this day, but they don’t “drain” my energy, I just have 150 other things I’d rather do. 🙂

Reflect

  • What worked? You accomplished some things in the last 365 days. List them and how you achieved them.
  • What didn’t work? What did you do that didn’t work and why? As Jim Gaffigan said, “When did buying a shirt ever make you lose weight?”

Hard Truth – we do what we want to do, not we say we “have” to do. Do you think you “have to” work? Look at the true motivation. Personally, I LOVE feeding my family. It’s something I actually want to do. 🙂 

Commit

  • Select two goals. Remember the 8% of Americans that actually achieve their goals? They do it by focusing on one or two things that matter most.
  • Be S.M.A.R.T. Clarity is key. The “SMART” method of goal writing is one of my favs. Need to know more? I found a great article on SmartSheet’s blog: https://www.smartsheet.com/blog/essential-guide-writing-smart-goals

Let’s Go!

  • Self-Control is key. When you wake up in a bad mood because you have to go to work, don’t act out by making excuses. Emotionally intelligent people don’t act on emotional moods and impulses. You can control them.
  • Be Transparent.  Let people in on what your goals are. Choose people that will support you and stay honest about your progress.
  • Be Adaptable.  You won’t do this perfectly, so don’t try. Falling out of sync with your goals is guaranteed to happen. It’s the recovery that matters. Report to your support team what happened, and get back in the game.

Did You Know? Emotions are like sugar cravings they last an average of 20 minutes. So those holiday blues, anger with the spouse or just plain lethargy? They will pass.

You can do this, and you’re worth it! Need emotional support? Share your thoughts, and I’ll be sure to respond. To 2019!




The History of the New Year’s Resolution

Tonight is the night! In the western world, millions of people will engage in ceremonies commencing the end of this year and the beginning of the next. New Year’s resolutions will be made and fulfilled…..or will they?

HISTORY – The beginnings of the new year’s resolution dates back 4,000 years to Babylonian times. It was associated with people promising to pay debts to their gods and return things “borrowed.” By Ancient Roman times the promises evolved into a commitment toward “good conduct” going forward. Still focused on favor of the gods, Julius Caesar sought to gain the affection of the god, Janus, who focused on looking back on activities of the previous year, and forward to the year ahead. Fast forward to the Christians and not much changed. Early Christians through the protestant Reformation looked back on mistakes of the past and made resolutions through prayer and gratitude not to repeat those mistakes going forward.

Fun Fact – Janus, is where we get the name for the month “January.” The beginning of the calendar year was in March until Julius Caesar decreed it begin in January. Today the new year is still celebrated at different times of the year based on cultures, customs, and religious practice.

SUCCESS RATE – We’ve committed a good portion of human history to this practice, so I would expect a high success rate. Right?

Statistics are hard to come by our ancestors. They did not measure the rate of success in any statistical way we do today. Back then you either followed the resolution and survived, or the gods and empire would destroy your crops, ravage your village, or kill your family. Today, we measure through polling. The latest information I found was that 45% of Americans still make resolutions and only 8% report following through on them. Clearly, the tradition is losing steam.

So WHY have we continued a practice for 4,000 years that provides little benefit? Because, there is!

New Year’s resolutions are an excellent tool to help us grow in self-awareness! This is one of the 4 major components of measuring and growing our emotional intelligence. Making good decisions is important to our ability to build relationships, be successful in communities and achieve goals. Deciding on what resolutions to make is the easy part. It’s the follow-thru that tends to fizzle out.. usually by January 21st.

You Do You!

I asked my daughter what she though of an outfit I was wearing. She looked me up and down, assessing. Then she looked me in the eyes and said, “You do you, Mom.” I asked what that meant. She said, “It means your taste may be different from mine, but that doesn’t make it bad. It makes it you.”

Authenticity doesn’t come easy. We are emerged in, even indoctrinated into, messages defining who and what we should like, wear, say, and, sadly, think based on popular culture. Community is a significant part of the human experience. The tribes of our ancestors survived based on community. If the tribe decided you weren’t any good, then they left you behind. That primal belief lives in our DNA today. If I am not accepted, I’m rejected. And if I’m rejected… yikes!

But what happens when the community you find yourself doesn’t fit who you are? It may be time for a change. It is definitely time to rediscover “You.” Our minds are consistently growing, changing, and adapting through our lifetime. Our tastes, interests, and perspectives change naturally. Are you getting uncomfortable in your own skin? Congratulations! You’re growing.

So how exactly do you, “do you?” Check out these suggestions.

  1. Discover. Before leaping into an abyss, or running from uncomfortable feelings, take time to assess what is happening within you. Self – awareness is a key element to being emotionally intelligent, and it starts by simply taking a look at what in your life is disturbing you and why. It also means taking a look at what brings you energy. It’s that “I could this forever” feeling. Discovering what you like and don’t like doesn’t mean you have to take immediate action. That comes later.
  2. Acceptance is key. Accept yourself as you find yourself, warts and all. You have the rest of life to make adjustments. Not everyone will think like you. Each of us sees the world from our own frame of reference. Your perspective comes from your unique experiences, views and ideas you have over your lifetime. It IS what makes you, YOU. Just because others don’t share your opinion, doesn’t mean one of you is right and the other wrong. Accepting that other people may see the world different than you, is just as important as accepting your own points of view.
  3. Follow your intuition. When you get that feeling in your gut that pulls at you, or the quite voice nudging to you to do something…lean into it. As long as it is life affirming and won’t bring harm to you or others, great things may come of it! Also, don’t second guess yourself. Learning to trust your intuition is a valuable skill in developing self awareness and growing your emotional intelligence.
  4. Go for it! This is the part where you take action. Make a plan based on what you discover and ride it through. Perhaps it is as simple as spending 30 minutes playing the guitar each day, or as courageous as asking someone out on a date. Say what you believe. Name it and claim it… I know it seems impossible at times, but you are worth it. After all, this is your life and your adventure.

And if you’re wrong? There is no such thing as wrong. Life is about discovering what works and doesn’t work, for your life. Make the most of it!

Are you ready to lean more into your authenticity? Drop a comment or send me an email sharing your experience. I’d love to hear from you!