You Do You!

I asked my daughter what she though of an outfit I was wearing. She looked me up and down, assessing. Then she looked me in the eyes and said, “You do you, Mom.” I asked what that meant. She said, “It means your taste may be different from mine, but that doesn’t make it bad. It makes it you.”

Authenticity doesn’t come easy. We are emerged in, even indoctrinated into, messages defining who and what we should like, wear, say, and, sadly, think based on popular culture. Community is a significant part of the human experience. The tribes of our ancestors survived based on community. If the tribe decided you weren’t any good, then they left you behind. That primal belief lives in our DNA today. If I am not accepted, I’m rejected. And if I’m rejected… yikes!

But what happens when the community you find yourself doesn’t fit who you are? It may be time for a change. It is definitely time to rediscover “You.” Our minds are consistently growing, changing, and adapting through our lifetime. Our tastes, interests, and perspectives change naturally. Are you getting uncomfortable in your own skin? Congratulations! You’re growing.

So how exactly do you, “do you?” Check out these suggestions.

1. Discover. Before leaping into an abyss, or running from uncomfortable feelings, take time to assess what is happening within you. Self – awareness is a key element to being emotionally intelligent, and it starts by simply taking a look at what in your life is disturbing you and why. It also means taking a look at what brings you energy. It’s that “I could this forever” feeling. Discovering what you like and don’t like doesn’t mean you have to take immediate action. That comes later.
2. Acceptance is key. Accept yourself as you find yourself, warts and all. You have the rest of life to make adjustments. Not everyone will think like you. Each of us sees the world from our own frame of reference. Your perspective comes from your unique experiences, views and ideas you have over your lifetime. It IS what makes you, YOU. Just because others don’t share your opinion, doesn’t mean one of you is right and the other wrong. Accepting that other people may see the world different than you, is just as important as accepting your own points of view.
3. Follow your intuition. When you get that feeling in your gut that pulls at you, or the quite voice nudging to you to do something…lean into it. As long as it is life affirming and won’t bring harm to you or others, great things may come of it! Also, don’t second guess yourself. Learning to trust your intuition is a valuable skill in developing self awareness and growing your emotional intelligence.
4. Go for it! This is the part where you take action. Make a plan based on what you discover and ride it through. Perhaps it is as simple as spending 30 minutes playing the guitar each day, or as courageous as asking someone out on a date. Say what you believe. Name it and claim it… I know it seems impossible at times, but you are worth it. After all, this is your life and your adventure.
   
   

And if you’re wrong? There is no such thing as wrong. Life is about discovering what works and doesn’t work, for your life. Make the most of it!

Are you ready to lean more into your authenticity? Drop a comment or send me an email sharing your experience. I’d love to hear from you!